This post is taken from chapter 3: Just Five Rules: the self coaching model
It’s titled, “exercise six: embracing emotional goal creation.”
Have you ever felt sad or down about your present career path because it stands in stark contrast to what could be? Are you ever so tired from the stresses and demands of your job that your very life energy appears to be draining away?
Life doesn’t have to be lived this way. The very same emotional energy that paints black an inner skyscape with clouds of gloom and resignation, can blow those storms away and reveal a brighter scene.
How is this done? The first step is to become a dispassionate observer of your own emotional experience. Not to ignore or deny these emotions, mind you – because there is a part of you that is experiencing their effects in real-time; but to observe and feel them as you would notice the changing weather around you.
This practice of observation can be unnerving at the best of times. You might notice a ‘knot’ of tension in your stomach or you may even feel a little sick at the thought of what lies between you and your goal. This is not unusual. Embrace the source of these discomforts, because the very fact that you can feel this way means the goal is a biggie. The act of observing will open up opportunities to disperse the fogs of despair with a jet stream of desire. It might take a little time. But they will dissipate.
Which leaves you where, exactly? In my experience, it can take you from being ‘uber worried’ about setting career change goals, to a state of driven calmness. This is easier to feel than to write about, but is there for the asking. In fact, as you practice observing an emotional connection with your goals, expect that there will be anxiety, nervousness and doubts – alongside those positive emotions of courage, hope and desire. I suspect that deep down we’re just one big emotional weather machine!
And that brings me back to the questions in the opening paragraph. Thinking happy thoughts often just doesn’t cut it on a permanent basis when I am, as the lyrics say, “feeling blue.” Or when I am simply too anxious about where my goals might take me. Heaven forbid! I might actually get closer to achieving some of them.
The natural outcome of habitual observing sees the emotional barometer ‘set fair’, making it more difficult for negative events, people or feelings to ‘bring you down’ for long.